10/7/20 ***If it is to be then it is up to me

If I am to get well then I got to stop doing things that get me into mania.

My goals must be realistic.

I need to be more composed.  I should not over commit myself.  For example I should be looking at working 4 days a month at RM6 k total instead of 10 days.

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So back to the old paradigm with me - Personal Blogging, Evernote and Cybernetic Loop with UK radio stations.

During this time I still need Nicorette.

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It is true then, carbs makes me feel bloated.  Now by not eating carbs I feel really at ease with the food that I eat.  I still experience carbs craving.  The body expects the surge of insulin after meal.  Since it is not coming, I have the urge to chew Nicorette.

I am not entirely at peace with this new eating style.  However I am having FAITH that I am on the right track with my overall plan.  Knowing I am on the Path makes me have a comforting thought.

This is the model I am going with:

I need to endure this discomfort for 2 weeks.

In the meantime I stick to the winning formula:

• Sleep at 11 am
• Wake up at 6 am
• Exercise AHAD
• Eat OMAD Apple
• Study Coursera

Today I take a break.  I just enjoy my own company.

The radio is really my true companion here. 

I should break away from Social Media.  Instead, I become my own best friend.

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What is the ideal happiness to me?

• Having RM3 k extra cash every month
• Weighing 63 kg
• Able to run 10 km every other day
• Living within my 10 km radius
• Able to sleep at 11 pm
• Able to wake up at 6 am
• Enjoying some good music
• Look good in old pants and shorts
• Absent of illness
• Occasional good meals
• Good cup of coffee
• Dome Burnt Cheese Cake
• No carbs craving
• All gadgets functioning
• Wearing all my watches

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I want to be able to sleep soundly every night and wake up the next day feeling charged.  I love the morning walk.  It is so invigorating.  Then I spend time learning from Coursera.  Life of a college student.  That is the best life.

I need to be thin again for sure.  Apple and moringa for lunch is the best.  Then dinner, I eat ketogenic meal.  I can vision myself weighing 79 kg on my birthday.  That is a progressive realization towards a worthy ideal.

Let's look at Ikigai:

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