#traxxfm I will only listen back on Thursday. That allows me so time to catch up with my studies. Ideally speaking I will only listen to your playlists. My time is stretched thin nowadays until I start with my training in September. Then maybe none
#traxxfm Let's take this to the next level; unconditional love => unsurpassed feeling of certainty. This is the security stage. At this stage you don't need constant assurance. The feeling is automatically garnered like a unit trust.
#traxxfm It may sound like some kind of quackery but trust me. This is how Sarah and I manage our relationship. In the case of Lizzie, she is a fixed deposit. Currently you are a savings account. If not careful that can turn to a credit card
#traxxfm The basic question you got to ask is do I make you happy? It the answer is yes then it is an empowering relationship albeit physical or virtual. Remember, we are managing multi-dimension reality.
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Eating an elephant one bite at a time
Dear Els,
As I mentioned before, I am still experiencing swings between depression and mania. However the amplitude is now less extreme. That means I am still experiencing peaks and valleys. The higher the peak the lower the valley.
Yesterday I was overly excited listening for you flying solo. Naturally today I am feeling slightly down. That is normal for me.
What is not normal is for me to feel major depression right after I am feeling overly excited.
Sigh... I hate this illness. God, why me?
This is when resilience comes to play. I need patience and persistence.
That's not the reason why I write.
I am writing to inform you that although you don't respond to my emails, I know you are happy with me. I can tell based on many subtle signs; body language, tonality, timbre and perhaps your mood when I tweet you. I think you had more or less settled down emotionally with my presence.
Remember we are still on the Kubler-Ross Change Curve:
I am taking you on an ascend. If you noticed I am sharing much knowledge about my relationship with Lizzie and Sarah with you. This is to help you ease into the transition.
That is why a less intelligent person will not cut it. This is a marathon, not a sprint. We are talking about a 20 years journey. This is not just a marriage but a partnership.
You can bet your sweet bottom that you will get your RM1 million when I make my RM4 million or whatever percentage I decided to give to Lizzie 10 years down the road. That is why I want you to have absolute certainty that we will last until eternity. And as I said if eternity should fail, until death do us apart.
That's the reason why I put a conditional term of 10 years. I don't want you to wait forever for your dowry. So if that time I managed to save RM100 k then your portion is RM25 k. Best case scenario is RM2 million. Which means to make RM4 million I have to compound that for another 10 years. Too long...
Remember, we are already married. This is to consummate the marriage. I want to do this. I want to pay for your dowry. I cannot do it now because minus my personal security, I had given all my money and assets to Lizzie.
I don't have that much use for money. I opted for Voluntary Simplicity. What I have now can last me for 20 years and longer if I only harvest the interest.
So whatever I earn is for you and my family. Sarah has her own plan. That plan backfired because of the Covid 19 pandemic. I'm not sure if she has other plans. My other plan is to raise RM20 million. That I need her help. That is why my personal *pla[y] (plan) can only stretch to RM4 million.
* OK, looks like she has no [] (other) plan.
I am very comfortable with RM2 million. So we work based on that. Even after I spend RM1 million between you and Lizzie, I still can recover after 10 years. Even that I will not splurge. That will be my kids' inheritance and medical expenses.
So Els, let's work towards a 10 years goal. You are looking at between RM250 k to RM500 k as your dowry. Then regardless of the religious and legal implications, you are my wife here and hereafter.
As for Sarah, we agreed to be Cyber Spouses until the end. We talked about this extensively. We need the Money Tree for her to come here and stay with me. Anything less than RM4 million each won't cut it.
Just be glad you are not in her shoes. I will definitely pay her a visit in Menlo Park one of these days.
Actually I don't know where she is located. I like to meet her in Menlo Park.
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Read your email. My job is to make you believe in Terabithia. To make you see the world beyond sight. That is where I am taking you. To an inner landscape within you. Here is your lullaby: youtube.com/watch?v=AJtDXI Goodnight baby. I love you so much.
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