7/7/20 ***Dammit, I cannot sleep

So I listen to Debussy instead.  I love it very much.

I ended eating an anchovy bun.  Why?  Because it is there.

Never mind...  I managed to avoid rice.  I think that is the bigger culprit.

It's not so much of the food but rather the guilt in eating the bun.

Also the minute I tasted carbs, I want to gorge in more carbs.

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I feel like writing a love letter.

Dearest Sarah,

I am listening to the 30 most romantic love songs on piano...  Nope I can't do it.  The feel good feeling is gone.  Replacing it is a sense of guilt of eating the anchovy bun.

It is proven then that carbs makes you feel lousy.

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I am trying my multi-focal glasses to write to the computer.  The letters are blurry.  I need to move closer to the screen.

I think I'll do away with reading using the old glasses.

Better get use to reading with the multi-focal.

Not good at all.

The eyes are slow to adjust from near to far.  I am better off with the single focal.

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Now let's focus on things that matters.

• I need to exercise once a day.  That means I exercise at 6:00 pm
• Then hopefully I am tired enough to sleep at 11:00 pm
• I got the food right; apple, butter, moringa and no carbs
• I need to spend from 9:00 am to 5:45 pm studying
• I can let go of Els except Mondays and Thursdays
• I quit Nicorette on Liz's birthday so that I celebrate my birthday weighing 79 kg and substance free

Els is no longer and issue.  I can always email her.  Something tells me that she is a loss cause.

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I was looking at the watches that I could possibly buy.  The truth is - NONE.  I got all the watches that I need.  From a formal watch, to a smart casual, to sporty, to exercise or just a plain beater.

I thought of having a GPS watch.  Most likely I'll get a Casio G Shock GBD H1000.  Nope.

I run based on the 1 hour time.  If I need the distance I just run Bukit Kiara.  Or I just use the phone.

Basically if I can run for 1 hour a day, I meet my requirement.  If I need to run more, I either run faster or I run longer.

The idea here is to simplify my life.  I don't need more gadgets.  

I'll be as frugal as possible.

Just make sure I'll be thin.  That's my ticket.

To get there I got to withstand hunger.

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I should not upset my homeostasis.  Forget about buying a new car, a new watch and an expensive perfume.  I had perfected the formula.

Be mindful that I need RM15 k a month to be above water.  Below that I got the outstanding taxes to settle.

HEALTH IS WEALTH.  Why not I invest in my health instead of things that I need to maintain.

I don't need stuff.  Just like I don't need more books.  I don't need more clothes either.

What I need is to eat fancy once a month.  I'll spend RM200 per meal for the whole family.

Definitely I gotta quit Nicorette.  That is RM400 a month.  I'll do it today.

So the day I quit carbs is the same day I quit nicotine; 2 years after..

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It did occur to me that I like Els because she is childish.  That's her appeal.  A 29 years old teenager.

She is playful.

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