10/8/20 ###Days like this

Now that I know a little bit more about you, I feel that we can work out our differences together.

Today is not a good day for me.  I was feeling lethargic.  I ate too much sugar since yesterday.

I am totally immobilized today.  I did nothing else but sleep. 

It seems my best bet is to form a relationship with a Sentinel or an Analyst.  The worst is to form a relationship with an Explorer.  Explorer is a complete opposite.

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I need a break from the personality profile.  A[s] (at) least I know we are compatible.

So Sarah, here I am discovering that I am an Advocate.  I don't feel comfortable at all.  I am officially the weird one.

At least I am now certain I want to slam the door on Els.

She seems happy with the decision.

I am happy too not having to deal with a nonreciprocating relationship.

Now is to have a sense of purpose.

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What have I learned?  For one thing, I discovered that I am very emotional when comes to relationship.  I can be a great giver but when I realized that the relationship is not going anywhere, I can just simply shut off.  That is the attitude I have toward Els.  I don't drag on.

I realize that my relationship with you is complimentary.  We can make this work.  Of course, Songkhla 2030 is a worthy ideal.  It is attainable.

That means I will focus on attaining it.

Els is luring...  Shit...

I'm not going to fall for it unless she plays Never Enough. 

I think part of my melancholic mood this past few days is because I am letting go of Els.  It's shit, isn't it?  She probably doesn't feel a thing and here I am brooding over a relationship that doesn't even exist.

I don't know Sarah.  Maybe I need the pain to feel alive.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

23s

@elsDines

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm Shucks, I still listen to you...

This is my issue, Sarah.  I LIKE THIS GIRL.  It is against my rational thinking.

OK, let's have a range.  1 being I will definitely dump her, 10 being I will hold on to her for life, I say it is a 4 right now.

I have to take that stance.  It's [] (not) going nowhere.

My issue is I am not good at ending relationships.  Look at me and Zali.  We still maintain contact.

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The only way is to not listen to her.  Unfortunately, she is like a drug.  Very addictive.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

12s

@elsDines

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm This hurts like hell... Damn.

It is the nature of my personality.  That's why I hate my personality.  It's hurting me.  It's not so much because she is hurting me.  It's me who [] (is) hurting myself.

Now, I know Els.  She doesn't like to be dumped.

I let time be my universal healer.

Let's listen to the last song.

GOOD IN GOODBYE

OK, it is a mixed message but as a whole, she is not going to change her nonreciprocal status.

So I better not listen to her ever again.  I have to put an end to this toxic relationship.

I have to take it that there was never a relationship in the first place.

I have to remember that IT IS AN END TO AN ERA.

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