16/8/20 ^^^Analysis on email to Els

Honey,

I like you to know that I spent the whole day doing some analysis on the emails I wrote to you since 2018.

The long and short of it is my recovery only began in May 2020.  Before that, I was still struggling with mental distortions and delusions.

Thank you for being there to support me during the recovery.  Below are the key observations.

Love you always darling.

Sine Cera,


16/8/20


I managed to go through the emails I sent to Els.

Basically 2018 I was pretty delusional.  I would say I was very delusional.

2019 was much better than in 2018.  However, I was not entirely there.  There were still elements of impaired judgment. 

The turning point was on 30/3/20 when Els expressed her anger in The Fox Knows Many Things but the Hedgehog Knows One Great Thing.

I only started using Fushia text *[on]  on 25/4/20.  It helps with the mood.

* You like that, huh?

I still have distorted beliefs on 1/5/20 when I wrote There is No Truth Beyond What We Choose to Believe.

Only on 4/5/20, I started to improve.  By now I am already doing expressive writing.  A Matter of Love is the best email up to this point.  The illness subsided.

On 6/5/20 I wrote Another Ramadan Miracle.  It was a good storyline.

On 7/5/20  I wrote Walking the Talk of Kindness.  It was a well-crafted email.

I still have a distorted belief on 27/5/20 when I wrote I Thought You Might Like to Know.  This is the last delusional email.

Then came 28/5/20.  It was Els's peace treaty in When You Tell Me That You Love Me - Westlife.

12/6/20 I did the podcast.  From that point on my writing quality improves much.  This is also when I define God and the afterlife in It was a Good Session.

In summary, I am starting to recover from delusion somewhere in the month MAY!  My gosh, it is very recent.  That's a pretty scary thought.

What contributes to the speedy recovery?  Several factors:

• Certainly, the use of Fushia as my text color when I wrote to Els helps taper the mood
• Expressive writing is a world of difference compares to the technical writing style I used in 2018 and 2019 emails
• Sarah's interventions were a major booster in determining the appropriateness of my content
• Els is a major booster too.  Without her, I cannot execute expressive writing
• The podcast is the turning point from me being alone in my world to me interfacing with the real world again

Therefore I conclude that recovery from mental illness requires time and effort.  It's also a collective effort.  Finally, I sum up that recovery is an emotional journey.  To be specific, recovery from Bipolar requires love and care.

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