The world is not entirely black and white.
What is the purpose of life?
Nothing other than to be happy. Therefore whatever decision I make in my life is to make sure I am happy.
I am happy slamming the door on Els. However, I am equally happy listening to her. Therefore I dump her but I still attend her show.
Nothing is absolute. What counts is both actions lead to me being happy.
I decided to make my own rules. Along the way, if I am not happy with my choices, I change the rules as I go.
Life is too short to be sad. I am not sad about the choices that I make. I will be sad if I expect Els to fall in love with me. But if I don't have that expectation, I will be alright. The key here is not to have any expectations with people that I deal with albeit my mom, Pal, or Farha.
I should not even have a high expectation of myself. Expectation only leads to disappointment. Simply let go and let live. Trust your instinct. Do not be rigid.
Of course, as we proceed with life we need to set goals. These are points of reference instead of our destinations. The truth is we don't know where is our destiny. We can make inferences about where we are going, but the truth is we can only plan.
I am going to remain flexible with what lies ahead. After all, I had arrived to the present. I am in no hurry to move on. I want to enjoy my freedom for a little while before I commit to a life that I may or may not like.
This is the life I enjoy most. I am a free man within the realm of my CCC.
Here is the deal, if Pal wants my service, he knows how to contact me. Until then I shall remain autonomous. I'm not going to push it for this year.
In the meantime, I just do what I do best; I simply write what comes to mind.
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