11/8/20 ^^^Time is the essence of life

Why is that rather than reading, I prefer writing to you?

I can never get enough of you.

As I mentioned, this is the End of an Era.  We are moving towards a new reality with the coming of August.

I wish time slows down.  Between studying and reading, I still have to manage my mood swings.  The swings are less rampant since I quit smoking.  Still, I am not entirely free from it.

I feel relieved that I switch to Flyfm.  I am still able to keep abreast of the latest updates without having to clinch on Els.  I think within this short stint I can let her go without much effort.

I am no[t] (now) beginning to understand that the attraction is pretty much my personality trait.  However, that attraction will not be reciprocated by a person with Els's personality trait.  In the end, I am only going to get disappointed.

I remember a long time ago, somebody told me, "Do not love somebody that you love but love somebody who loves you".

I guess as I was reading the report, there were many flashbacks I had about my past life.  I made so many mistakes.  Even very recently I still make mistakes.  My mistake is I dabble in social media.  Because of that, I jeopardize future undertakings with Pal.

I need to lay low for a while.  I need to recompose and restrategize my personal actions.  I cannot be doing the same things and expect different results.  That is insanity.

If you notice, my success in life is dependent on Pal's trust in me.  To a certain extend, I had shaken his trust.  I talked openly about his mega projects.  Well, that's not part of the original plan.

My initial plan was to come up with the Mental Health and Positive Psychology Course.  Then comes the book.  However, I told him I wanted to make RM1.5 million in 10 years.  So he is aware that I want to deliver 10 classes a month.

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As you know, a person of my personality is driven by purpose.  To accumulate RM1 million is not my end purpose.  That is only a means.  My purpose is to be just to my wives.

We went through this many times before.  I can get away by thinking about myself alone.  However, I want to be a just man.  It means a lot to me.  As the head of this family, I want to treat you and Lizzie as my equal partners.  Hence half of what I earn goes to you and Lizzie.  Not a single regret.  Either I give to my wives or I give to charity.  Either way, I only keep half of what I earn.

Brb...

Sorry, I just went for my jab.

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