I need to proceed with the birthday plan. Just in case this is part of the withdrawal symptom. I don't want to miss the window of my birthday to make a statement.
Then again why not I simply vanish?
I think I just SNAP VANISH.
Why not for once I stand my ground and JUST SAY NO!
Let's call a spade a spade. She is nonreciprocating and noncommittal. Why do I expect her to act differently?
The best is to wake up and move on.
The bronco is putting up a good fight. I need to hold on to the reign for TWO weeks. That is more critical.
If I win the battle with Nicorette, I win my battle with Els.
Looks like to win the battle with Els is to let her go. To win over her I have to dump her.
Bear in mind that this is me thinking without the influence of Nicorette.
For every disciplined action, there are multiple rewards. The reward of quitting Nicorette is to be able to taper off the dopamine surge.
Let's decide once and for all, my 56th birthday presents will be me breaking my addictions to Nicorette and Els.
Once I break my addiction to Nicorette, it is very easy for me to break my addiction to Els.
I had decided that like Nicorette, Els is nothing more than an addiction.
Therefore I'll let both [] (of) them go. That will be my 2020 win. This is as good a win as running the 21 km Hill Run. By winning this battle, I am breaking the link I had with the dopamine surge.
I hope from here on I don't have to deal with the surge anymore.
We can still listen to her. I still like her playlist. However, we just take it that I am in love with the playlist and not with Els.
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