The reason why I sneak out of my comfort zone is so that I can earn a living. If money is not my issue, I couldn't care less to leave the CCC.
As it is, I only care about my Tetrahedron. Even if I cannot fit in the social mold, I will continue to pursue my interest in becoming a subject matter expert.
I think I have the talent to train. It's just that when I train, it is not to teach but rather to express my thoughts to the masses. My goal is to be an excellent trainer so that I make good money. There aren't many vocations that give you the liberty to express yourself and yet allow you to make a comfortable living. Training is one of them.
I realize that my success is dependent on how much Pal is willing to engage my service. So it is dependent heavily on one single variable.
Given a choice, I rather take my own sweet time to study than to deliver. I am most happy being on my own than in a crowd. I can't resist the money though.
Here is the worst-case scenario. Pal may decide that I am a nutcase and not engage me as a trainer. If that is the case, I am back to where I was before.
Honestly, I am not keen to train this whole year. I had decided to continue with my study until the end of the year. As much as possible, I try to avoid the masses. However, if there is no choice but for me to train come this September, I'll do it. Otherwise, I'm fine where I am right now.
I guess the discomfort is to be doing things out of my comfort zone. I was having a good time without having to think about fitting into the mainstream. Money is not my source of happiness. Its the source of stress. I rather burrow in CCC and mind my own business.
I'm going to take a short break. After that, I will continue with my study.
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