Tuesday, 11 August 2020

12/8/20 ^^^Back to being a Domestic Rat

I am back to being who I am.  I am not bothered to try to fit into society.  I am fiercely independent.

The reason why I sneak out of my comfort zone is so that I can earn a living.  If money is not my issue, I couldn't care less to leave the CCC.

As it is, I only care about my Tetrahedron.  Even if I cannot fit in the social mold, I will continue to pursue my interest in becoming a subject matter expert.

I think I have the talent to train.  It's just that when I train, it is not to teach but rather to express my thoughts to the masses.  My goal is to be an excellent trainer so that I make good money.  There aren't many vocations that give you the liberty to express yourself and yet allow you to make a comfortable living.  Training is one of them.

I realize that my success is dependent on how much Pal is willing to engage my service.  So it is dependent heavily on one single variable.

Given a choice, I rather take my own sweet time to study than to deliver.  I am most happy being on my own than in a crowd.  I can't resist the money though.

Here is the worst-case scenario.  Pal may decide that I am a nutcase and not engage me as a trainer.  If that is the case, I am back to where I was before.

Honestly, I am not keen to train this whole year.  I had decided to continue with my study until the end of the year.  As much as possible, I try to avoid the masses.  However, if there is no choice but for me to train come this September, I'll do it.  Otherwise, I'm fine where I am right now. 

I guess the discomfort is to be doing things out of my comfort zone.  I was having a good time without having to think about fitting into the mainstream.  Money is not my source of happiness.  Its the source of stress.  I rather burrow in CCC and mind my own business. 

 I'm going to take a short break.  After that, I will continue with my study.

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