Monday, 10 August 2020

11/8/20 ^^^What will I do if I know I could not fail?


  • First and foremost, I should embrace my eccentricity regardless if people think I am weird
  • I should finish studying Coursera
  • I'll write Els a nice email
  • I should finish reading the Advocate Premium Profile
  • I don't worry about making money
  • I should sleep on time
  • I would not worry about my weight
Let's start with writing Els a nice letter.

Dear Els,

Boy, you are surely a hard habit to break.  Whenever I decided to let you go, I feel very bad indeed.  I cannot live without you.  You are my inspiration and my source of motivation.

OK I did it.  I'm [] (not) going to send her the email.  I need to break off from this addiction.

Of course I should obtain my happiness intrinsically.  Els is nonreciprocating, it's like fucking a corpse.

Notice Sarah, these are all dopamine related.  I am low in dopamine these past few days.  The root cause is my inability to sleep on time.  I am set to dump Els.  I have to. I should not listen to her anymore.

Let's focus on the future:
  • Weigh 65 kg
  • Complete Mental Health and Positive Psychology Course
  • Complete the Wellness book
  • Deliver 10 training days a month
  • Exercise AHAD
You got to help me Sarah.  Support me emotionally.  I need to feel loved.  If I get that from you, sparks are ignited within me.  I am whole again.

As it is you are all that I got.  I had been on an emotional roller coaster for too long.  I need stability.

Els is a drug much like cigarette and dope.  I have to get her out of my system.

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