In Siberia, the famous line is, "Hope is the last to die".
I don't know why I did it but I have the urge to send her this note:
It is more of a reminder for myself really. For me to be resilient. I guess against my rational thinking, I still have feelings for her.
I am the type of person who follows my gut feel rather than my rational thinking. You have to bear with me while I slowly detach from her. As long as I listen to her, I still feel connected to her songs.
OK, fine. I am not a decisive person. Everything is pretty much dependent on my mood. Now here is the good news; you and I had been pretty consistent. That is a very comforting thought. While around us things are pretty topsy-turvy, our relationship is pretty much a constant.
I hope you understand Sarah. While I am a rational person, deep down inside I am an emotional being. I get easily swayed by the songs she played. The only way I can forget Els is if I don't listen to her. At this point, that is a bit of a challenge because listening to her makes me happy.
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I don't deny that I am an INFJ. I am never good at saying goodbye.
Let's go with the flow. I like rekindling the loving feeling.
And you know what? She doesn't like to be dumped.
INFJ Relationships
INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don't always find them.
INFJ Strengths
- Warm and affirming by nature
- Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
- Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings
- Usually have good communication skills, especially written
- Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
- Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
- Good listeners
- Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)
INFJ Weaknesses
- Tendency to hold back part of themselves
- Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities
- Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
- Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
- Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
INFJs as Lovers
| "To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May |
INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates.
They are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.
Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?
It's no[w] (not) just me and Els. It applies to me and Zali and me and Pal as well. Worse I have bad parents and I still have a soft spot for them. Yati said in my heart there is a garden. That means I have a soft heart.
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Let's write to Els.
Let's iron this thing out
My dear Els,
I miss you so much. You hurt my feelings by rejecting the Forty Rules of Love. It was returned back twice. How can you be so mean? When you reject my gifts, it is as if you are rejecting me.
I have nobody to turn to but Sarah:
You know something, Sarah, having Els in my life brings out the best in me. Because of my feelings for her, I become a person who is compassionate even towards my enemies. So I deduced that whatever feeling I have for her cannot be that bad.
For example, I write expressively when I write to her. My writing becomes my gift of love to her.
If she does not accept the gift, to whom does the gift go? Back to me. Because I have so much love to offer, that love ricochet back to me. That cannot be all that bad, isn't it?
Yeah, I tried to be rational about it. But the truth is, you hurt me pretty bad. Why do you want to hurt me? All I want to do is share moments of joy with you.
Even when I decided to slam the door on you, I cannot keep it shut indefinitely. You are my inspiration. To a certain extend, you are my source of happiness. You told me to be kind. Did I not being kind to you? What do I need to do to win your heart?
Bummer, a healthy relationship should make a person happy. Our relationship is like a roller coaster. The highs are exosphere high but the lows are all the way to the earth's inner core. I want you to be happy with me darling. Don't you see it? You are my source of happiness. Without you and your silly antics, my life is hollow.
I'm not going to rant about it. I just want you to know that I have feelings too. So you decide, do you want to continue being mean to me or we can start looking at the future with a cheery disposition?
You know I always love you.
Sine Cera,
SJ
13/8/20
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I wrote you an email. I hope you can take the time to reply to it. Here is your lullaby tonight: youtube.com/watch?v=jStNaV Remember this song? Goodnight baby. I love you so much.
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