So far it is worth the money I am paying. It's like having a book specifically written for you.
I'll finish the report today.
Right now I have a stiff neck. It is very discomforting.
I had sorted out my situation with Farha. So I am cool.
Sashi called, fishing for information about my training. By the look of the current situation, looks like we are having a snap poll. Actually, I am impartial. Like I said, I am not motivated by money. I am keener to finish Coursera.
OK baby, let me continue reading the report.
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If I can summarize what I read so far, I can say I am the big picture guy. My ideals can get me into trouble if I am not careful. Since I am not the leader material, I need a leader to lead me. Otherwise, I will be stuck with my ideals.
One of the things I need to get rid of is my past limiting beliefs. Things that I did in the past 20 years are not going to be useful for the next 20 years ahead. I need a new set of beliefs based on my present values. That includes my beliefs on health, diet, and money.
Shit, the odds are against me to make money. I am not naturally inclined to make money. However, where I am going, I need to have RM1 million. So things got to change if I want to be a success.
It all depends on how strong is my fealty to Pal. Alone I cannot do it.
I have to trust his judgment 100%. He is my leader as far as I'm concern.
This is very uncomfortable Sarah. For the past 10 years, I had been living in my own sphere. Now I have to adapt to the new environment. I feel that I am losing my freedom; having to kowtow to another person. However, I need to trust Pal. Otherwise, I cannot make it on my own.
What do I need to do then? While waiting for the training to happen, I will continue to improve my skill and knowledge. Especially the knowledge about myself. My biggest loss will not be missing the opportunity to train in the short distance but to extend the relationship I have with Pal for the long run.
However, this is my backup plan: If everything else fails, I will still continue on this track of self-improvement and knowledge enhancement.
I can still develop a course on Mental Health and Positive Psychology and perhaps market it through the Mental Illness Awareness & Support Association (MIASA).
However, I believe, Pal has a good intention for me. I can always earn a living through him provided I don't give him the jitters from my FB and blog correspondence.
So definitely NO FB and I shall minimize my public blog interactions.
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At the same time, I am a guy who doesn't give a fuck. However, I need to adjust myself so that I can earn a living. If not because of that, I say FUCK SOCIETY. So now you see why I bought the report? I want to fit in so that I can earn a living. That's all. It's not that I like to assimilate into society.
This is the insight I had while conversing with Master Jedi:
[12:55 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: Btw Master Jedi, since you know me for a long time, do you consider me as an oddball?
[1:27 PM, 8/9/2020] Norazdi: Do you think you are an oddball? what is ordinary ball when all balls are ordinary? Who says ordinary and who says odd in the first place?
[1:31 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: My personality traits only constitute less than 1% of the population: https://introvertdear.com/news/infj-secrets/
[1:35 PM, 8/9/2020] Norazdi: Dont you feel that most people like or even treasured to be "unique", the one and only, but at the same time, they want you and others to follow them, be like them.. be like the rest of many of us .. they say...
Strange being isn't it?
(or there is nothing strange about it?)
[1:37 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: Interesting... I want to be myself but my fear is I cannot cari makan if I am being me. That's the paradox.
[1:46 PM, 8/9/2020] Norazdi: You are you. Maybe you want to think that you live in 'world' of not your own where the cari makan is completely different i.e. not your way. 'Live' in both worlds, yours and not yours, less the paradox. We sometimes goes out of our cave, the see the green trees which they say the sight of heaven.. but we know very our self that the heaven is the droplets that tickles from the cave ceiling. So go out in the bright day light to witness the green leaves.. come back to our 'home' to listen to on the droplets of cool water of the 'cave'
[1:48 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: Wow... Pretty insightful. In that case, I will limit the communication I have on FB. Then I reduce my digital footprint.
[1:51 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: The troubling thought is my social media is not like others. It's pretty normal for me but for some, my message is very confusing.
[1:52 PM, 8/9/2020] Norazdi: Some say, to hell what other think of me, I am me! I think, one dont have to limit anything including public communication, as long as one can shoulder the 'burden'. Only you know very well any burden you are carrying. So.. to hell to others seems quite right.
[1:53 PM, 8/9/2020] Norazdi: I think people like us seems to suffer 'the confusing messages we air to others'.... let it be
[1:55 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: I had been forewarned by my principal to be more reserve. Kau tahu klah aku Master Jedi, I speak my mind hahaha
[1:58 PM, 8/9/2020] Norazdi: Your principal is right... the heaven is the sight of green trees.. but that is not your world... you are right.. even pressure cooker have an tiny outlet to let out steam... we dont want a volcano eruption while we have two 'worlds' to live in
[1:59 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: Thanks brother... Appreciate your sage advice
[1:59 PM, 8/9/2020] Norazdi: 👌
[2:00 PM, 8/9/2020] sharudinj: What will I do without you Master Jedi 😇
Master Jedi talks like a real sage.
The best is if I only communicate with you.
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I don't like being an INFJ. That's means I am a problematic person. No wonder people don't understand me. I am too complex. My IQ may be above average, but I am not suited to deal with the masses.
The basic question I got to ask is, "How do I improve my situation so that I can earn a living?"
- Firstly, I should not meddle with social media
- Secondly, I should not dwell in crazy ideas
- Thirdly, I should keep my thoughts only to myself
Basically, I should minimize dealing with people and I should stay ground[] (grounded).
Where should I be moving towards? How about IN... Shucks, I don't like any of them. Actually, I prefer that I am more of an INTJ. Nah, I am too much a feeler.
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But since I am a borderline between Feeling and Thinking. It is worth to study both.
Well after weighing all possibilities, I concluded that I am an INFJ.
All I need to do is leverage my strengths and downplay my weaknesses.
Bear in mind I am doing this so that I can WORK. If it is not because of that, to hell with personality tests.
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INFJs are idealists. Creative and fair-minded, they see the world not the way it is but the way they think it should be. While they are caring and sympathetic to others’ troubles, INFJs are big-picture thinkers. Rather than help individuals, they look for ways to change the system. They are also energetic, determined, and instinctual, with a tendency to just plunge in and start working rather than make careful plans.
Read more at https://www.personalityclub.com/blog/famous-infj/
Read more at https://www.personalityclub.com/blog/famous-infj/
You know what Sarah, this is more of a conversational piece than an exact science. It's based on pattern rather than scientific observation. Hence I am taking it with a pinch of salt.
For example, I am not really a people person. To assume an INFJ is a people person is kinda inaccurate. In general, I am an individualist. I like to be by myself.
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I am quite convinced that you are from the Sentinel Category much like Lizzie and Princess. The way that you deal with me and your undivided loyalty further affirm that.
I think you are the no-nonsense type while I am an idealisr.
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