I am feeling a bit agitated when I read the Advocate Premier Profile. I feel that I have to fit into a specific mold that is not meant for me.
At the same time, I feel uneasy having to disrupt my comfort zone and join the masses again. I like being in isolation.
So the less time I am in contact with Pal the better. I want to be left alone.
The report keeps pointing out that I want to do something for humanity. As if I care about them. The truth is I don't care about humanity. I just want to make some money and pursue my personal goals.
At the end of the day, I am who I am. I am private, I enjoy exploring ideas, I don't like people and I am an assassin. I get the job done and I am back in the comfort of my privacy.
I realize that this downcycle that I am experiencing is due to the report. I am really uncomfortable when the report suggested that I am altruistic. I am not. I am a very selfish person. I am more interested in pursuing my personal interest. If it so happens that humanity benefits from it, well and good. I am not here to save the world. In my definition, I am a lone warrior.
I champion my own cause. My immediate goal is to become a subject matter expert. That's why I chose to specialize in Mental Health and Positive Psychology. Not for me to change the world but for me to be accepted as who I am by the masses. I am a man who is fighting for a cause but the cause is for me to make my presence in the world. Not for me to help the world but for the world to help me!
There you have it, Sarah. I came up with my own personality traits. Only now I feel better. Altruistic my ass. No wonder I feel miserable. I was forced to fit into a mold that I don't belong to.
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