>>>#15/9/20 It takes 45 days to form a habit

Fine, today is Mopey's birthday.  So I am only doing IF today.

I decided not to pursue Els anymore.

I am not going to pursue Pal either.

I just play the Domestic Rat game.

I'm not going to have a grandiose ambition anymore.  I am looking at RM3 k and up.  That means anything below tha[t] (than) RM3 k a month is Pal talking cock and sing songs.

Until I start seeing serious cash, I am not going to waste time with Pal.  I became anxious about nothing.

Mopey wanted me to eat lunch because she doesn't want me to binge during dinner tonight.  I'm fine with that.  At least I do IF today.

--------------------

Let's look at things objectively.  As it is, I have to say that Els is a waste of my time.  She is nonreciprocating and she is noncommittal.  If I feel the magic is gone, then it is a good sign.  I don't have to be hooked to Els anymore.  From nothing to nothing.

I made an attempt to woo her.  However, the setback is the Songkhla 2030 is very uncertain considering the elusive nature of Pal when comes to 2-way communications.

I don't want to be stuck with unrealistic expectations.  Here we have a RM1.5 million company and I am talking about having RM250 k for myself.  Already the company's burn rate is RM1 million.

So I say if Pal cannot provide me with RM3 k a month income, I doubt I will be seeing a RM20 k a month earning for myself.

Basically, I had lost my motivation to work with Pal especially when comes to writing the book.

There is nothing to motivate me to work with Pal.

I am better off setting my own goals and following my own timeline.  At least I am not going to be disappointed.

---------------------------

The gist of it is I am better off on my own if I cannot get even RM3 k a month from Pal.

As for Els, reading about the Happy Chemical made me realize that she is nothing more than dopamine at play.  There is no build-up process to lead to somewhere.  I was being unrealistic about my expectation.

-----------------------------

I think without the influence of nicotine, I tend to have a more realistic expectation.  Certainly, the effect of dopamine is there when I chew Nicorette.

Today I see some improvements.  I managed to withstand hunger longer and I don't chew any sugarless gum.

The idea is to stop snacking altogether and basically only eat One Meal a Day!

I say I started crossing the Rubicon yesterday with IF.

My goal is N-SEEM

-------------------------------

This is good.  I don't feel hungry and I don't have the urge to chew sugarless gum.

I am progressing.  Now to keep on improving for the next 44 days.

------------------------------