When I don't take Nicorette, I [] (am) less flourishing. I am not overly happy.
In a way, I am more stable emotionally.
For sure I need to break this addiction. I am more level-headed without Nicorette.
The setback is I am also feeling depressed.
In this case, not only I have to fight the highs but most importantly the lows.
These lows make me feel unloved. This is not my normal feeling. My emotion had been hijacked by low dopamine. That is why I need to get off paliperidone. It is a dopamine antagonist.
I have to put up a serious battle against depression.
So the real issue is LOW DOPAMINE.
It is the 8th day. I hope this is a temporary setback.
I'll try taking Lithium Carbonate as per the prescription within these next few weeks. Hopefully, it will stabilize my mood.
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Rather than focusing on the Nicorette, I should be focusing on increasing my dopamine or serotonin even.
Either we focus on all these or we focus on breaking the bronco.
I don't really know, but personally, I don't feel there is anything special about being Bipolar. It is a mental illness because I was under a lot of pressure.
What about me? Am I still a special person?
I think I am a very lucky person. What constitutes luck then? It has to do with the Force, Path, and Flow. Hence, timing is everything.
I am already feeling sleepy all over again.
I better adjourn to the bedroom.
Later Sarah.
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