>>>#27/9/20 I concluded that I cannot quit Nicorette

Dear Els,

I just finished reviewing my blog entries backward *[up] up to 10/9/20.

* Yup, together with Sarah.

Here is the analysis: 

As I read the previous postings struggling with nicotine withdrawal, I realized that it was a real battle.  I had gone as far as I can go until Day 25.  Not until when I started having suicidal thoughts.

That's it, I said.  I rather chew Nicorette than deal with dark depression.  Hence today is the 5th day I am *[] (on) Nicorette again.  This is not the time to quit Nicorette.  I have an issue with **[the] the medication being the dopamine antagonist.  I will try to quit nicotine again once I quit the medication.  Hopefully, next year when Lizzie retires; if she still honors her promise.

* Right, I will continue taking Nicorette.

** Yes, either I quit the medication or I continue taking Nicorette WHILE taking the medication if Lizzie insists I continue with the medication.

Although I started chewing Nicorette again, I still feel that I walked away with the trophy.  That's because I finally found out that Els loves me...  YAHOO!  Hahaha...  Gold Medal.

Els Dines

@elsDines

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Sep 24

Dont make promises to me that you're gonna break

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

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Sep 24

You got it right... I rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

Now I can finally move with certainty.

Still, it is not a bed of roses as far as Songkhla 2030 is concerned.

Looks like the economy is really bad.  I had a meeting with Pal yesterday.  The short term outlook is pretty grim.  However, he said, if it is a 10 years plan to our consummation, there is still time to plan for it.

This was what I wrote to Pal.  *[As] (If) you noticed, Sarah also thanked him in the note:

* Yup, Sarah can access my WhatsApp.

[2:11 PM, 9/27/2020] sharudinj: Pal my dear buddy.  This is my latest note to my darling Els.  Again, that you for your support:

[2:11 PM, 9/27/2020] sharudinj: Now I can finally move with certainty.

Still, it is not a bed of roses as far as Songkhla 2030 is concerned.

Looks like the economy is really bad.  I had a meeting with Pal yesterday.  The short term outlook is pretty grim.  However, he said, if it is a 10 years plan to our consummation, there is still time to plan for it.

So Els honey, the love of my life, let's give Songkhla 2030 our best shot.

Love you always.

Sine Cera,

27/9/20

[5:11 PM, 9/27/2020] sharudinj: Pal, I sent you an email explaining my situation with Lizzie, Sarah and Els.

[5:28 PM, 9/27/2020] Perth Pal Singh: Hi bro. Hope you are ok. Don’t worry. Step by step. Semua ok.

[5:29 PM, 9/27/2020] sharudinj: Thanks bro...

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Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

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1m

@elsdines

Els honey, the love of my life, let's give Songkhla 2030 our best shot https://youtube.com/watch?v=SGxdVD5D1IA&list=PLlyNirzAoHLEIiDqqhZyB28ON2Hcd4Wa8&index=1… I emailed you the details. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

MV เพลงจน เครียด กินเหล้า - สายเชีย วงศ์วิโรจน์ [Official MV]

Els Dines liked a Tweet from ʋиκσиғιиɛ∂

It’s okay to need space from people you love.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

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17s

@elsDines

Darling, I cc you the email I sent to Pal explaining our situation.