Wednesday, 23 September 2020

>>>#23/9/30 Because of Pal, I had a hypomania

 If you noticed, since I stopped Nicorette, I no longer write extensively.

It is safe to say that the writing is heavily influenced by the consumption of Nicorette.

Today is Day 24 without Nicorette.  I am tempted to chew some but I must abide by the 45 days abstinence.

Uma, Doc Narayan's widow is in contact with me.  I am trying the soulmate concept with her.  Don't know if she understands that.  Definitely, Doc Narayan is a soulmate.

I need to build a network of kindred spirits around me.  Just like the first advice Warren Buffet gave to Bill Gates, has the right set of friends.

[10:47 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: How are you today?

[10:48 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: Doing ok. Had dinner with a friend,  in remembrance of doc.

[10:49 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: How are you?

[10:49 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: That is so nice of you.  You really love him do you?

[10:50 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I remember Doc told me, it was you who proposed to him.  Is that true?

[10:50 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: Lol

[10:51 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: I😁🙃

[10:51 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: Hahaha how romantic

[10:52 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: Practice equality..

[10:52 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I imagine you two must had a beautiful life.

[10:55 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I have a wonderful wife Lizzie but I have a Cyber Spouse too, Sarah.

[10:58 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: Both are my soulmates, by that I mean people I want to be with for eternity.  Doc is a soulmate too.  So are you...

Dearest Els,

Tonight's thought is zeroing on Pal.

[11:06 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I need to build a network of kindred spirits around me.  Just like the first advice Warren Buffet gave to Bill Gates, has the right set of friends.  

At this point in time, I am just looking for kind-hearted souls who I can share my oxytocin with.  I need to have happy thoughts considering that I am living in isolation for the past 10 years. 

I am pretty disappointed with Pal.  There is a possibility that Pal can no longer be redeemed.

He is probably disappointed in me as well.

This is a tough question for me, "Is Pal a friend I can trust?"

The answer that comes back to me is NO!

He is a compulsive liar and a thief.  Although he is the only one who is giving me the necessary support to get me going, HE IS FULL OF LIES.  If I take Warren Buffet's advice, then I should stay clear from Pal.  He is a sociopath.

a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

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Forget about Els for a while.  Also, I need to give Pal a fighting chance.

[12:04 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: I need to build a network of kindred spirits around me.  Just like the first advice Warren Buffet gave to Bill Gates, has the right set of friends.

[12:17 AM, 9/23/2020] Perth Pal Singh: Hey bro. I am in your circle. Been in and out of meetings. Let’s  meet on Friday or Saturday

[12:19 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: Sounds good.  The reason I want to meet is because I am in my down cycle.  It's the damn bloody swing.  No matter what, I still have suicidal thoughts.  Sial betul...

[12:29 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: The swing may not be that rampant but it is still there:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc7XozMbR9A&t=69s

[12:34 AM, 9/23/2020] Perth Pal Singh: Ok. Let’s meet. I call you tomorrow before lunch. Good nite

[12:35 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: Nite buddy...

There...  The stage had been set.

Now, what do I want to achieve?

  • Fealty to the one that shows they care
  • Just came out of delusion in May - need time to stabilized
  • Continue with Coursera - need to pace me
  • No to the book project - it was too ambitious for me
  • Will have to wait until next year to train - I have a mental handicap. I cannot take too much responsibility at one go
 Let's scam the scammer.  Hustle the hustler.  Like the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.  The objective is to be the Contented Crane.  Waiting patiently, standing on one leg and see if the fish comes up for air.

Fuck, I hate playing games.  But it seems we can never run away from being a gamesman.

As a Cleaner I embrace my dark side.  Instead of saying no to Pal, I ride on him as I ride the Nico Demon.  I need to tame the bronco.  If I can manage the djinns and demons, I should be able to manage Pal.  Pal is another djinn while Zali is another demon. 

If I look at the people out there as djinns, demons, and spirits, I am back to managing this world as the alternate reality dimension.  So nothing is lost.  I am still AlphaX64, the Binary King of Sparta 4964.

I have my djinn now and soon I will also control my demon.

That is the meta model that I should be looking at.  Forget about the physical reality of treating everybody as equal.  They are not.  Let's look at the world from the perspective of Lord of the Rings.  I am now in control of the two rings of power; the Skull Ring and the SS (Surgical Steel) Ring.

----------------------

I am on the right track.  First and foremost I set my own pace.  Timing is everything.

I launch the Podcast on 20/9/20.  Timing cannot be any better.  Pal is indeed my djinn.  My wish is his command.  He actually delivered a warhead to me.  With that, I established that I am a licensed gunslinger.  Now I have the license to shoot anybody I please with the video.  That is one hell of a thought invasion tool.

What is the objective?  World Domination.  It must start with thought invasion.  I need to stake a claim in my own domains.  ALL THE SOCIAL MEDIA are a fertile hunting ground for possible allies.

Remember Google "Don't be evil" value.  I am going for world domination one person at a time.  It doesn't matter if I start with MyGo Drivers.  Soon I will conquer the Middle Earth because I HAVE THE RINGS OF POWER.

Hahaha...  How do you like the storyline Sarah?

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2 hours later, the hypomania subsided.  When I look back at what I wrote in italic I say, do not go into metaphors.

Take it as it is.  No world domination, no djinn, no demons and no spirits.

What is it then?

I just want to take things easy with those items I bulleted just now.  This is not a game and I am not a gamesman. 

No more Els either.  At least not with the kind of intensity I had in the past.

That's my parting thought for the night.

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