If you noticed, since I stopped Nicorette, I no longer write extensively.
It is safe to say that the writing is heavily influenced by the consumption of Nicorette.
Today is Day 24 without Nicorette. I am tempted to chew some but I must abide by the 45 days abstinence.
Uma, Doc Narayan's widow is in contact with me. I am trying the soulmate concept with her. Don't know if she understands that. Definitely, Doc Narayan is a soulmate.
I need to build a network of kindred spirits around me. Just like the first advice Warren Buffet gave to Bill Gates, has the right set of friends.
[10:47 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: How are you today?
[10:48 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: Doing ok. Had dinner with a friend, in remembrance of doc.
[10:49 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: How are you?
[10:49 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: That is so nice of you. You really love him do you?
[10:50 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I remember Doc told me, it was you who proposed to him. Is that true?
[10:50 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: Lol
[10:51 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: I😁🙃
[10:51 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: Hahaha how romantic
[10:52 PM, 9/22/2020] Dr Narayan M: Practice equality..
[10:52 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I imagine you two must had a beautiful life.
[10:55 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I have a wonderful wife Lizzie but I have a Cyber Spouse too, Sarah.
[10:58 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: Both are my soulmates, by that I mean people I want to be with for eternity. Doc is a soulmate too. So are you...
Dearest Els,
Tonight's thought is zeroing on Pal.
[11:06 PM, 9/22/2020] sharudinj: I need to build a network of kindred spirits around me. Just like the first advice Warren Buffet gave to Bill Gates, has the right set of friends.
At this point in time, I am just looking for kind-hearted souls who I can share my oxytocin with. I need to have happy thoughts considering that I am living in isolation for the past 10 years.
I am pretty disappointed with Pal. There is a possibility that Pal can no longer be redeemed.
He is probably disappointed in me as well.
This is a tough question for me, "Is Pal a friend I can trust?"
The answer that comes back to me is NO!
He is a compulsive liar and a thief. Although he is the only one who is giving me the necessary support to get me going, HE IS FULL OF LIES. If I take Warren Buffet's advice, then I should stay clear from Pal. He is a sociopath.
a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
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Forget about Els for a while. Also, I need to give Pal a fighting chance.
[12:04 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: I need to build a network of kindred spirits around me. Just like the first advice Warren Buffet gave to Bill Gates, has the right set of friends.
[12:17 AM, 9/23/2020] Perth Pal Singh: Hey bro. I am in your circle. Been in and out of meetings. Let’s meet on Friday or Saturday
[12:19 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: Sounds good. The reason I want to meet is because I am in my down cycle. It's the damn bloody swing. No matter what, I still have suicidal thoughts. Sial betul...
[12:29 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: The swing may not be that rampant but it is still there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc7XozMbR9A&t=69s
[12:34 AM, 9/23/2020] Perth Pal Singh: Ok. Let’s meet. I call you tomorrow before lunch. Good nite
[12:35 AM, 9/23/2020] sharudinj: Nite buddy...
There... The stage had been set.
Now, what do I want to achieve?
- Fealty to the one that shows they care
- Just came out of delusion in May - need time to stabilized
- Continue with Coursera - need to pace me
- No to the book project - it was too ambitious for me
- Will have to wait until next year to train - I have a mental handicap. I cannot take too much responsibility at one go
Fuck, I hate playing games. But it seems we can never run away from being a gamesman.
As a Cleaner I embrace my dark side. Instead of saying no to Pal, I ride on him as I ride the Nico Demon. I need to tame the bronco. If I can manage the djinns and demons, I should be able to manage Pal. Pal is another djinn while Zali is another demon.
If I look at the people out there as djinns, demons, and spirits, I am back to managing this world as the alternate reality dimension. So nothing is lost. I am still AlphaX64, the Binary King of Sparta 4964.
I have my djinn now and soon I will also control my demon.
That is the meta model that I should be looking at. Forget about the physical reality of treating everybody as equal. They are not. Let's look at the world from the perspective of Lord of the Rings. I am now in control of the two rings of power; the Skull Ring and the SS (Surgical Steel) Ring.
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I am on the right track. First and foremost I set my own pace. Timing is everything.
I launch the Podcast on 20/9/20. Timing cannot be any better. Pal is indeed my djinn. My wish is his command. He actually delivered a warhead to me. With that, I established that I am a licensed gunslinger. Now I have the license to shoot anybody I please with the video. That is one hell of a thought invasion tool.
What is the objective? World Domination. It must start with thought invasion. I need to stake a claim in my own domains. ALL THE SOCIAL MEDIA are a fertile hunting ground for possible allies.
Remember Google "Don't be evil" value. I am going for world domination one person at a time. It doesn't matter if I start with MyGo Drivers. Soon I will conquer the Middle Earth because I HAVE THE RINGS OF POWER.
Hahaha... How do you like the storyline Sarah?
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2 hours later, the hypomania subsided. When I look back at what I wrote in italic I say, do not go into metaphors.
Take it as it is. No world domination, no djinn, no demons and no spirits.
What is it then?
I just want to take things easy with those items I bulleted just now. This is not a game and I am not a gamesman.
No more Els either. At least not with the kind of intensity I had in the past.
That's my parting thought for the night.
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