I am beginning to have control over Nicorette.
I still feel depressed but I am not craving for Nicotine. That is a good sign.
I will tame this bronco by 15/9/20.
There is a void inside me. If I want to [] (tame) the bronco, I need to endure depression for 2 weeks.
I feel good breaking some sweat just now. However, I feel the void inside me. It is some kind of sadness and yearning to be happy at the same time.
Since I quit Nicorette, I feel that my life is pretty surreal. Even Coursera seems pretty surreal.
I feel like I am in a dream and I am missing the company of nicotine.
That's how bad nicotine is in influencing my dopamine surge. I don't want to induce dopamine in other ways although I am tempted to drink 3-in-1 coffee to offset the melancholy.
I figured that what I am missing is love. If I have enough love, I don't have to get that feeling from substance abuse.
This nicotine addiction goes very deep. Albeit cigarettes or Nicorette, these are band-aids to deal with the emotional void. A well-loved person doesn't need a crutch. That is why I am not substituting my emotional void with any alternative.
When I quit cigarettes, I need to deal with depression as well. All I did was differing it. So now, one year later, I still have to walk the path.
NO CRUTCH. Maybe what I'll do is eat crackers with peanut butter.
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I should have dealt with the void one year ago when I quit cigarettes. Now, this is no longer an option. I have to deal with the void head-on.
Peanut butter is good at inducing dopamine. Already I feel better.
Everything is a mess within my nervous system. Insulin and dopamine are probably the two chemicals that affect my mood the most.
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