Thursday, 3 September 2020

3/9/20 ###I eat a lot of sweet stuff and carbs

OK let's go with the flow until 15/9/20  In the meantime I need to be mindful of M-SEEN.

If I can achieve M-SEEN within these 2 weeks, I am a real success.

Nicotine is a very addictive substance in whatever form.  I had been negligent with Nicorette because initially, I need it to quit cigarettes.  Now that I am off cigarettes.  It's time I lose Nicorette.

Actually, I am feeling a slight discomfort with this nicotine withdrawal.  I hope I am over it within these next few days.

What counts at this moment is my commitment to quit Nicorette.

Certainly, it is not just by simply quit chewing the nicotine gum.  I have to tame the bronco.  It's putting up a fight.

In any case, I am waiting to kill the Nico Demon.  I am still coaxing it.

Simply put, I will only win IF I can break the habit.

It's already the fifth day.


#traxxfm Hi honey. This is my 5th day on Nicorette cessation. I didn't expect it to be tough but it does. Wish me luck :)


#traxxfm It's like breaking a bronco. As long as I stay on its back and don't fall off, I can break it eventually... Hey, today is your playlist. Cool...

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I am feeling rather anxious now that my weight is 94 kg.  That's pretty heavy.

OMAD must start tomorrow.

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#traxxfm Tell me a story today...




#traxxfm As I said, there are many vessels. However Sailbad the Sinner is our vessel: youtube.com/watch?v=ogmpb- The future is what our consciousness sees today.



#traxxfm These next 21 years is just the bridge. Pretty far out thinking I must say, but who am I to say no? As I said, CCC Feng Shui is perfect. anyway, I'm not here to change the world. I am the Ghost of the Navigator...





#traxxfm I could have been this. Unfortunately, my mom is a RABBIT born in the Year of the Dragon. Lizzie is a rabbit, Mopey is a rabbit. I am surrounded by rabbits LOL




#traxxfm Aaaaaand, I got 2 Gold Rams. Now tell me... Am I not the luckiest guy around? Awww shucks... This HAUNTING song!!! I love you so much, baby.


#traxxfm Oh well... This alone is a 15-year journey. What is the next 10?




#traxxfm As we are talking, be mindful that Sailbad the Sinner had already set sail since 13/1/20 youtube.com/watch?v=piQOSJ Time will flow and I will follow.



#traxxfm Be mindful though that as we speak, everything counts but nothing matters. If it happens then it's good. If not, then the journey itself is already the reward. Do you follow? Either way, we will get somewhere.



#traxxfm So far I made it sounds like a fairytale. Honestly, honey, this is a very meticulously planned journey. Already we had passed 20 years. Now we are looking *a[s] (at) another 21 years. *With Grammarly, I caught Sarah in action LOL



#traxxfm All I wanted is to be A Just Man (An Nisa 4:3). So as a bonus, I got a Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian. Though none of you are practicing. How magnanimous is the Universe? Just because I prayed to become the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier in 1999


love you so bad
Purple heart
8:37 PM · Sep 3, 2020Twitter Web App



#traxxfm So now Providence moves in. I am tired of providing you with proofs. How about this... I saw the Flying Whale one year before Disney (Yes Din) showed the movie. It was across the Wormhole. I cannot pass through because not enough breath.


Alright, time to chill...



3/9/20 ###I have to keep on writing

I am doing this so that *[] (I) can remind myself not to chew Nicorette.

* I just had lunch.  The good news is although I had a hearty meal, I have no urge to go for Nicorette after that.

So I can say that on my 5th day of cessation, I had waned my craving for nicotine.

Let's review M-SEEN.

As far as external communication is concerned, I just limit to Pal and Yati.

As for the rest, Asta La Vista.

I am cutting off  BJ, Sashi, Azzue, and Facebook.

There is nothing good that comes out from social media.

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Mostly what I'm about to say here are repeats.

Firstly I want to say that I DON'T NEED Nicorette.  I will feel terrible initially.  However, once I overcome the slump, I will be OK.  Beginning my 56th birthday, I want to be truly free from all addictions.

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Wednesday, 2 September 2020

3/9/20 ^^^Let's recompose my thoughts before the drilling work starts

I surely enjoy sleeping and eating these past few days.

I still have pleasurable memories of chewing the Nicorette.

As long as I have those memories, I still crave nicotine.

I need to stop Nicorette just like I quit cigarettes before.  My relationship with Nicorette goes back to 2012.  That is far too long.

Besides,  I don't like the taste of Nicorette.  It is too sweet and it gives me a splitting headache.

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With the cessation of nicotine, there goes my ability to write expressively.  I hope that is a temporary setback.  I am really looking forward to Sept 16th.  I will be home free by then.

With the withdrawal of nicotine comes the surfacing of the suppressed negative memories.

This is part of the journey.  The Nico Demon is starving and it's struggling to stay alive.

Here comes the sleepy part...

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I cannot go on like this.

This afternoon I got to make an attempt to run.

This OMAD thing is not working.

HOW DO I OVERCOME HUNGER?

I drink tea...

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>>>#3/9/20 I made it to the 5th day

It's raining in the morning.  So no exercise.

My weight had climbed to 94 kg.

It's OK, I am not too concerned with all that.  As long as I am winning my battle with Nicorette, I am happy.

I had been sleeping a lot these past few days.

As I see it, the more I can regulate my dopamine, the better my life is.  Now the shift is towards food.  Suddenly I am very ravenous to eat sweet and starchy food.

I need to be mindful of that.  I might be able to quit Nicorette but I might end up being a diabetic.

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I got one more year to quit the Pariperidone medication.  I cannot wait for that to happen.  I want to be a self-motivating man once again.

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As of now, I got to win this battle.

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