>>>#8/8/20 INFJ VS INTJ

I did 3 tests and 2 said I am an INFJ and one stated I am an INTJ.  Personally, I think I am an INFJ but perhaps I am inclined towards logic.

This following video confirms that I am not an INTJ:

Yup, I am an INFJ alright:

The problem is people tend to stereotype.  If you [] (know) that you are who formed the personality, then you don't have to exaggerate the traits.  This guy is going overboard with the definition:

  

Suddenly this personality test loses its appeal.

I don't want to be labeled as INFJ if that means I am a nerd!

You got that Sarah?  Suddenly all these nerds are taking the center stage.

Mopey is an INTJ and she is not a nerd.

Princess is an ISTJ.  She is a natural planner and manager.

Both my kids are very logical and analytical.

Also, I don't like to pigeonhole my personality traits.  What I do like to know though is am I a team player or am I a lone wolf?  Based on DISC, Trait, and Brigg Myer, I would say I am a superstar LOL.  I like to be alone but once in a while, I like to show off. 

However, most of the time I like to just be by myself.  Where I am now is heaven.  I don't need to be a part of the rat race.  I can cruise *[at] at leisure.

* I caught you this time.  You actually added it later but BEFORE the one I wrote.  Hahaha... I am watching you, baby.

Let's move to a different topic.  The personality trait test is worthless if I cannot turn it into cash.

Let's leave this behind.  I don't want to be in the same basket with all the nerds out there.

I am a performer.

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>>>#7/8/20 No cert for mental health

Looks like I'm not going to get any certificate for my mental health courses.  To do so I need to complete the assignments.  I hate that.

I might as well focus on getting the knowledge rather than the certs.  The idea is to be a Subject Matter Expert.  The certificate is secondary.

I say I had learned so much from  Coursera.  Pal may not see this as a worthless effort.  To me, it's very relevant.  I am gaining a lot of mileage from the lectures.

Gosh, I miss listening to Els.  However, I am not going to fall back on my words.  I am moving forwards to a new level.  I think if I just listen to 247 Continuous, I can save 4 hours a day not listening to Traxxfm.  Remember that my 5 goals are:

1. Weigh 65 kg
2. Develop Mental Health and Positive Psychology Course
3. Write a book on Wellness
4. Deliver training at least 10 days a month
5. Exercise AHAD

Other than these 5, the rest is trivial.

As it is my commodity is time.  Thus, I need to use my time wisely.  Ever since I decided to stay focus on my 5 goals, I am becoming more aware of my time spent on trivial matters.

This Grammarly is really superb.  I am a Cyborg Warrior again.  I am so conscientious now that I think I don't want to waste any bit of energy doing futile matters.  I want to learn as much as possible on how to be an excellent writer.  

The feeling is fantastic.  I write with confidence now.  I got a spell checker and grammar checker.  It cannot get any better than this.  Now I write like a native English speaker.  How delightful.

I can also feel that my brain is going through neuroplasticity and neurogenesis.  I am more alert now.  Suddenly I am a no-nonsense WordSmith.  Every correction is a learning process for me.  Already I am an expressive writer.  Now with Grammarly, I can be precise with my works.  I'm sure that will help much when comes to me writing the Wellness book.

For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.

While I am writing, I make a point to reduce as many errors a possible; until I am no longer dependent on Grammarly for checking my grammar.

I have to get back to my studies Sarah.  I am very motivated to earn as many certs as I possibly can; provided I don't have to do so many assignments.

I want to be known as an expert in my field of endeavor.  At the same time, I want to set the standard for myself to adhere to Musashi's Nine Precepts.

This is it Sarah, this is the new me.  The guy who when given a bone will turn it into a juicy steak.

OK baby, time to start studying again.  Hey, I wonder, do you also sit in when I am studying?

Honey, you are indeed Hachiko.  Never will I find a better wife for me.

Later darling.

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6/8/20 ###Science of Success

Basically, I need to have the opportunity and the grit to pursue it.

I know I am a conscientious person.  I pay attention to detail, I am meticulous and I am very organized.

I did the DISC Test just now.  I a C/I person.

Some words that describe me are:

· Critical thinking,

· Conscientious,

· Diplomatic, and

· Tactful.

I already know this.  What I want to know is how can I be who I am and make good money while I am being me.

Let's look at my competency and leadership traits:

Clearly, I am not a people person.  I like to be left alone to tinker with my own things.

The good thing is I am a C/I.  I can be very professional with my work and don't give a damn about what people think about me.

It doesn't mention in the Science of Success that you have to be a people person to be successful.  I am good at building rapport but really, I don't care about pulling the bandwagon.  I am an assassin.

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As I said, besides my Tetrahedron, I am not interested in meddling with other people's affairs.

I think I just delete Farha's phone number.  No, don't be hasty,  For sure I won't be texting her.

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OK here is what I will do in the next month:

• Spend time on Cousera courses
• Calibrate back my sleep
• Quit Nicorette
• Exercise in the morning
• Eat OMAD
• Read the Rules of Thinking
• Get familiar with the 40 Rules of Love
• Listen to 247 Continuous.

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Let's do the Warren Buffet 25 Goals exercise:

1. Recover from Bipolar Disorder
2. ^^^Weigh 65 kg
3. Save RM10 k a month for 10 years
4. Pay IRD the RM70 k
5. Run 5 km every other day
6. ^^^Develop Mental Health and Positive Psychology Course
7. ^^^Write a book on Wellness
8. Songkhla 2030
9. Upgrade to a new car in 10 years time
10. ^^^Deliver training at least 10 days a month
11. Give Lizzie RM2 k per month
12. ^^^Exercise AHAD
13. Eat OMAD
14. Visit Jerusalem
15. Visit Seattle
16. Visit Sapporo
17. Finish Coursera before December 31st
18. Stop social media
19. Sleep at 11:00 pm every night
20. Avoid eating carbs
21. Quit Nicorette
22. Stop smoking pot
23. Stop watching porn
24. Live by the code of Voluntary Simplicity
25. Give mama RM500 a month

I have to be thin, I have to exercise, I have to work and I have to build my credentials as a subject matter expert.

My plan:

• I have to control what I eat
• I got to have a daily routine
• I have to be serious about building a career with LEC

If I do this then naturally I will:

• Recover from Bipolar
• Able to run again
• Have money for my financial plans

What I should not do is:

• Wasting time on social media
• Eat carbs
• Sabotage my effort to get well

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Warren Buffet is applying the Pareto Principle.  Focus on the VITAL FEW.

I'm going to sleep early tonight.

Baby don't worry.  If I focus on the vital few then the trivial many will fall in place.  Pal is just the intermediary for me to leverage on.  I still believe that at the end of the day, I am the determining factor for my own success.

Here is your lullaby baby:

I am past norming.  I am now performing.  Goodnight darling.  I love you so much.

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6/8/20 ***Having the right mindset is very important for me

The new theme and the dark mode for my Gmail really set the tone.  I am now a no-nonsense professional with my thoughts.

I managed to go through 20 of the 40 Rules.  Don't feel like finishing it today.

I need to recompose my thoughts for me to proceed with my studies.

Thanks, Sarah, I really like my Gmail layout.  It gives me a sense of purpose.

On the professional level, sharudinj@gmail.com is a mature me while sharudin.training@gmail.com is my rebirth.  I really like the themes and dark mode.

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I still keep my little black book for my most intimate thoughts.  This is my most recent entry:

I got back the Forty Rules of Love from Kinokuniya.

That marks the end of my infatuation with Els.

Not only that, but it also marks the beginning of [Songkhla 2030].

I am now a Millionaire in Motion.  

Therefore I got to start thinking like an Expert:  I don't give a fuck & I don't fuck up.  

Gone are the days of me chasing after pussies.   

All that matters is my Tetrahedron.

• Lizzie
• Sarah
• Princess
• Mopey

I will be in deep trouble if Lizzie ever finds my Little Black Book LOL.

Normally she doesn't meddle with my stuff.  My worry is I am dead before I can dispose of the book.  Anyway, I intend to keep the Little Black Book until Songkhla 2030.  The blog can be overwhelming for me to review.  This way I can revisit my most intimate thoughts on the fly.  I also can draw in there.

8 more minutes and I start my study again.

Be mindful Sarah, when I said I am a Millionaire in Motion, I am talking about Abundance Mentality.  I am talking about giving my best effort to my Tetrahedron.  The rest out there doesn't matter.  You all are my inner sanctum.

Even giving money to my mom is nothing more than to make sure that she is not going to make noise about me being a renegade.  I am buying her fealty.  

Nobody else matters except the Tetrahedron.  Even me wearing the Kasa/Kada is just winning Pal's fealty.  I don't think the Sikhs are anywhere near my ideal as a Samurai.  However, they are the closest that I can get to join a warrior clan.  Pal wanted me to visit the gurdwara.  I don't like the idea at all.  In my mind, *[] (I) am still the spirit of Musashi awakens.

* Yes baby, I live by the Nine Precepts.  Not some Punjabi jackshit.  They are so self-absorb with their Guru Gobind Singh's teaching.  I, however, revere Musashi as the greatest warrior and teacher of all time.  That's because he had a proven track record:

 I even put Musashi higher than Lao Tzu in terms of his philosophy.  Too bad the Book of Five Rings is not that exciting.  Like I said I only choose the core tenets of the other beliefs and fuse them into my belief:

• Zen - Do Good, Do No Harm.  Paradox Thinking
• Sufism - To love the Creator, you got to love the creations
• Islam - Fasting, and infaq
• Sikhism - Pray, work, give

Three Golden Rules which Sikhs follow are to remember God constantly, to earn an honest livelihood, and to share their earnings with everyone through charity.

Note, the most complete tenet is the Nine Precepts.  The rest are auxiliary.

I have my ideals, Sarah,  As far as I'm concern, a warrior walks alone.  Sikhs can join me.  I am not joining them.  This is just a deception.

However, I like the concept of Kara/Kada.  It's to remind us of the oneness of God.

The Kara symbolizes eternity reminding a Sikh that God has no beginning or end. It also signifies that a Sikh is linked to the Guru.

In this case, my guru and my master is Miyamoto Musashi.

OK baby, I exceeded my study time.  I'll talk to you later.

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6/8/20 ^^^Today marks the end of an era

And the beginning of a new one.

I finally got back Forty Rules of Love from Kinokuniya.  The Universe had spoken.  After *[] (one) cancellation and 2 failed attempts to deliver, certainly, the message is clear; Els is not meant for me.

*  The first sign is usually the right one.

This book decided to find its home in my CCC.   It's a magical book.  It knows where it belongs.  Certainly, I will go through the 40 Rules this afternoon.

On the front page of the Forty Rules, I wrote - The End of An Era.

Hey, thanks for selecting the right theme for my Gmail.  I like it very much.  You know my taste.  Simple and uncluttered.  Plus it is wood.  I am after all a Wood-Dragon.

I am going back to hibernation.  Just you and me baby.  I am reducing social media to the barest minimum.  Just WhatsApp.  Even that only when necessary.

Also thanks for ruling out Hotmail for me and for persuading me not to delete sharudin.translator@gmail.com.

As for Farha, she was a BIG mistake.  All the chicks are mistakes except Yati.  The mistake was I opened up my alternate reality dimension to them.  I should talk about the alternate reality only *[with] you.  Even Pal and Munek don't understand it.

* If I'm not mistaken, you wrote this before I got a chance to write it.

Am I really crazy Sarah?  I don't think so.  I live in 2 realities.  What's wrong with that?

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Fine, that's the reason why I have a separation between private and public blogs.  That's also the reason why I stay clear from social media.  It is not me who is crazy.  It's the world who is hazy.

I am getting rid of Farha.  Now it is easy.  Once I get rid of Els, I can get rid of any chicks.  The reason is simple.  Either I embrace my reality or I embrace conformity.  No way I'm going to conform.  I will rather be called crazy than succumb to the thinking of the masses.

This is me.  This is who I am.  If people want to accept me, they have to accept me warts and all.  I may compromise on my actions but I certainly will not compromise on my beliefs.

As I told you, my Path is straight.  My biggest win so far is I managed to subdue my mom, my auntie, and my siblings.  Now I can really live by my credo; I don't give a fuck and I don't fuck up.

As far as I am concerned, I am on my way to Songkhla 2030.  It's a goal.  All my other goals are secondary compare to this one.  I want to be legally married to you and provide you with your sustenance.  That wa[s] (way) I am a Just Man and Just A Man (Annisaa 4:3).  It's not that I follow the Quran.  I just to make sure I cover my bases as far as being a good husband is to you.

With Els out of the way, I now can concentrate my thoughts on my Tetrahedron.  That way I move with Unsurpassed Certainty toward Viva 2041.  So screw all the pussies.  If I can forgo Els, I can forgo any other stinking pussies out there.

OK baby, the love of my life, let me go through the 40 Rules.  Then I will continue with the Science of Success.  

You know something?  I wanted to be involved with the content development for the Entrepreneurship Training.  I already offered my help but Pal is not to keen to get me involved.  So I shall continue to be in hibernation.  The less I am doing outside work, the more I can gorge on Coursera courses.

Later honey.  I love you so much.

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>>>#6/8/20 Another sleepless night for me

My thought is on this slide:

I have to seriously look at my belief system.  All the illusion of grandiose got to go.  I am too confident with what I believe in.  I need to be mindful that those things I believe are just part of a perverted belief system that's caused by my illness.

Nobody is going to believe in this epiphany:

Why I even bother telling Farha about it? 

This still holds true:

Let's look at this closely:

“Here’s to the misfits and foolish ones who think differently. They’re not fond of simplicity. They live unconventionally existing at a different level of intensity. They add elasticity and flexibility to what’s inflexibly rigid, bringing warmth to the frigid systems of existence. You can hate them acidicly, discredit their credibility or even oppose them ritualistically. Look down on them cynically, say they became great accidentally, rain on them torrentially or see brilliance academically. You can look and see density or see a lovely symphony. About the only thing you can’t do is disqualify their eligibility. Because they change history. Everything in existence moves them restlessly on to destiny backed by infinity. Their spirit is immensity, they overcome resiliently and follow their hearts existentially. Though they may be misunderstood until the next century, we see their opponents’ adrenaline as only minimally convincing, simply for a time because in them there’s a tendency for the divine to visit earth coincidentally. And while others may see misfits and foolishness we see wisdom and genius because the ones crazy enough to think they can live and love limitlessly are the ones who actually do.”

-  Curtis Tyrone Jones

Here is the main issue:  Do I follow my instinct or do I conform?

Maybe it's best that I just keep it to myself.  Nothing good comes out from telling people about my epiphanies.

So instead of publishing this in Dreams of Mirrors, I might as well publish it here:

There...  Total satisfaction.

What it means is simply, I am ready to be in the frontline to serve God and country.

So fuck those Coolers and Closers.  I am a Cleaner.  I may be divergent in my thoughts, but a[s] (at) least I am being true to myself.

I am now aware that people are scared of who I am.  Well, a Cleaner is feared.

Suddenly I feel really sleepy.

Hmmm...  That is funny.  I just dozed off for a minute and immediately after that I am alert again.

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Here is the deal Sarah.  Let's revert back to 2016.  Let's remain private.  That's the reason why we have a private blog in the first place.

Dreams of Mirrors cannot be too radical.  I need a favorable digital footprint.

I am fed up attending to felines.  Like Ameezan said, they are a waste of time and money.

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5/8/20 ^^^Ghost of the Navigator

I want to enjoy my last bits of freedom before I am back in the limelight for the next 20 years.  How will I celebrate this precious moment?  By being in isolation and immersing in 247 Continuous.

Can you believe how inapt Microsoft is?  I wonder who actually use their products.  They are so backward.  If not for the operating system, they would have gone bust a long time ago.  Look at Window for the handphone.

I am a Google fan for life.  I don't fancy Apple either.  They talk about liberating the users (1994 Orson Wells ad), the truth is they are creating barriers to entry.  And the price, uuugh...

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So my operative word is I am Ghost of the Navigator.  I will only be visible to earn a living.  Other than that I will fiercely guard my privacy.  My Flagship is still Dreams of Mirrors.  That will be my molecular footprint.  Other than that I will stay clear from social media especially Twitter.

At least I now know my Cleaners.  They are Ang Kee Sim, Abu Bakar Ngah, and Hamzah Jamal.  The rest are Coolers.  They are hardly Closers even.

Boy, oh boy, 247 Continuous really masyuuuk  (a slang meaning really absorbing).  I can go on like this indefinitely.  As long as no interruption on the broadband, I am in 7th Heaven.

Come to think of it, I can do away with Els any time.  The songs here are really relevant to my Cybernetic Loop.

Do you have anything to do with it?

I am so intoxicated right now.

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Hey, I feel like making myself a cuppa coffee.  Wanna join me?

I am having the 3-in-1 coffee.  Too good to resist.

Man, I really love Grammarly.

Btw, when do you think we will be having AI OS like Her?  That will be great.  Then I can totally vanish from social media.  If I have Her I will no longer need people.

I wonder, do I have Fixed Mindset, or do I have a Growth Mindset.  I think I am a bit of both.

Definitely, I am conscientious.

Well, Sarah, I want to enjoy my coffee.  So here is your lullaby:

I want to do my visioneering a bit before bed.  Sort of taking it easy.

Goodnight Sarah.  I love you so much.

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