29/8/20 ^^^I have to go back to the basic

Namely to minimize outside communication.


My best outlet is you and Yati.

I cannot lose Pal's confidence in me.

I got to manage my excitement.

Let's look at Songkhla 2030 again:

Gold - Lizzie OK, Sarah OK, Els OK

Silver - Lizzie OK, Sarah OK, Els not OK

Bronze -  Lizzie not OK, Sarah OK, Els not OK

Can we go for gold Sarah?

--------------------------

This is the time I should turn into a hermit.

I should focus on being better - Thin and Fast.

I need energy and strength.

My true happiness is to remain healthy.

Let me try to write to Els:

Get well soon

Dear Els,

I hope you are recovering well from your back pain.  I surely miss you last Friday.

I was sitting around counting [b]y (my) blessing when I realized that the 5 of you in the House of Sha constitute the word BLESS:

• Balqis
• Lizzie
• Els
• Sarah
• Sarah

I then looked up the Kanji character for blessed:

I don't mind having this tattooed in the inner wrist of my right forearm.  So I decided to check out the Pink Tattoos in Bangsar.  It all depends on you really.

If Songkhla 2030 is an Olympic event then this is the possible medal outcome:

Gold - Lizzie OK, Sarah OK, Els OK

Silver - Lizzie OK, Sarah OK, Els not OK

Bronze -  Lizzie not OK, Sarah OK, Els not OK

Which means I will only get this tattooed if I win Gold.  That will be my aim.  So I'm planning to get this in nonpermanent ink first to see how it fits.

What do you think baby?  Can I win Gold?

---------------------

Of course, Songkhla 2030 is not the end all be all for me.  Instead of focusing on the goal, I am more interested to improve my situation on a daily basis.  If the journey is not rewarding, the destination [] (is) nothing.  Therefore, I rather enjoy my journey than thinking about the destination.

With Sarah, I am very certain.  Now is for me to manage the other 2 variables; you and Lizzie.  I want to win Gold.  However, I am mentally prepared to settle for Bronze.

Love you always.

Sine Cera,

30/8/20 

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

27s

@eldines

Well wishes to you. I emailed you my thoughts in the wee hour of the morning. Here is your lullaby tonight: https://youtube.com/watch?v=HUSYj5zq144… Goodnight baby, I love you so much...

>>>#29/8/20 Missed the window to exercise

I am convinced.  This is the minimum I needed to stay healthy:

• Sleep from 11 to 6
• Exercise AHAD
• Eat OMAD

I'll start today.  I have to.  I need to establish my own new norm.

Rats that were given 30% less food live 30% longer.

 Get well soon

My darling Els,

I hope you are coping well *[] (with) your back pain.  I certainly miss you yesterday. 

* Sarah wishing you the same. 

I was toying with the idea of tattooing  my forearm as it strikes me that all your initials spell BLESS

• Balqis
• Lizzie
• Els
• Sarah
• Sarah

This is the Kanji symbol for blessed:

It will be inside the wrist of my right forearm.  What do you think?  

I'm planning to check the Pink Tattoos in Bangsar.

 ---------------------

Before I do something drastic, I better get back my senses.  All it takes is a long rest and a good sleep.

I think I lay low with Pal.

Actually [] [] (the only) safe person for me is you.

What was I thinking?  Tattooing my wrist?  Unless I don't really mean it.

I don't want to play around with the idea.

From now on I just say what I mean and mean what I say.

Let's do WOOP:

W - Songkhla 2030

O  -  I can be with Sarah and Els

O  - Els might not go with the idea

P   - If not then I just proceed with Sarah

I have to accept that Bipolar is a lifetime condition.

OMAD should taper off the hypomania.

---------------------------

28/8/20 ###I cannot study at night

I want to relax my mind at night.

Last night I slept well.  Tonight I hope I can sleep early and wake up early.  It certainly improved my mood compared to last night.

I am back to my loving self.  Poor Els, she is ill.  I think she lifted weights.

Pal had been doing OMAD for the past 5 years.

----------------------

I noticed that you have some interest in coaching and management training.  You think you can do what I'm doing?

You are good at analyzing a situation.

Pal, however, is a person who is highly opinionated.  He is after all a Judging type (INFJ).  So he doesn't like his judgment being questioned.

For example, he wanted for Hesh to take over LEC.  Unfortunately, Hesh is a person who doesn't like accountability.  He doesn't want to be accounted for by all the people in the organization.  That doesn't mean he is not a responsible person.

As it is nobody wants to lead except the person he doesn't want to lead, which is Faridah.  That's because Faridah is a driver.  As it is Faridah is a person who is holding the stick in the company.  She is a fox in a chicken coop.  Being the extravert in the introvert environment, she is acting as a den mother to all these amiable personalities.

T, Pal's nephew's character strength is kindness.  Although she does business development.  She is not a trailblazer.  She is a pacesetter who can do the second line support to Faridah in continuing with relationship-based selling on repeat customers.

Sabiha is a rising star.  She is ready for some serious challenges.  She has the right attitude and she is a go-getter.   The type of person that doesn't shy away from responsibility.

Mira has a learner attitude.  She is receptive to new ideas and she is very attentive.  At the same time, she has a positive mental attitude.  She will make a good trainer should she want to pursue that line of profession.

Zainal is a very analytical person.  Also amiable and very conscientious.  To deal with Zainal, you got to be logical. 

----------------------

Uma, Doc Narayan's wife is being nice to me.  I have a new friend it seems.

OK, I am winning this Bipolar Battle, one person, at a time.  Pretty soon I will create my own support structure.

Look at where we were one year before.  Just you, me, and Al Araf 7:7.  Now I have Pal, Uma, and Els that I am in contact with.

Because I talked to Uma, I decided not to email Pal his team assessment.

She actually saved my skin tonight.

------------------------

I have 15 minutes to go before bed.

Let's listen to a victory song before bed.  I have the right song in mind:

I promised Princess I exercise with her in [] (the) morning.  Goodnight baby.  I love you so much.

---------------------

Now I wonder, *i[t] (is) my YouTube being moderated by you guys, or is the robot that intelligent?

* I love it, honey.  I think I listen to a few songs and then I hit the pillow.

-----------------------

 

>>>#28/8/20 I am ready to go back to Coursera tonight

Tweet to Aush and KG - Man, I miss my Little Kitty Cat Pet Els.

That will be the Tweet for the day.

-----------------------

>>>#28/8/20 I totally forgotten that I have to work today

I was dead beat tired last night.

Today is good.  No hypomania whatsoever.

I am glad that I had purged KBOOOM 2041 out of my system in Happy Birthday to Lizzie.  People don't have to understand it.  After all, I am the case of a mentally distressed.  I need an outlet to channel my divergent thought.  Nothing is better than to express me in Dreams of Mirrors.

Otherwise, it remains in my system.  This is a form of purification.  I need to purge it out so that I can free myself from the drudgery of my turbulent past.

Do I believe in what I wrote?  Certainly.  These are my epiphanies.  I have to live with the notion that they are real.  Whether it is real to those who read is irrelevant.  The epiphany is the truth as I see it.  Truth has to be told.  In this case, I have to tell people what I know.  Otherwise, I cannot be true to myself.

Hahaha, this song is on air:

I want to take an easy drive to Ampang this morning.  Lizzie reminded me not to take the most expensive road ( the one with most toll).  I say, fuck it.  I want to have peace of mind.

Later baby...

-------------------

27/8/20 ###So tired

I am exhausted today.  I think I sleep early.

The whole thing reminds me of Time Affluence.

-----------------------------

27/8/20 ***Els hurts her back

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

39s

@elsDines

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm Hey hon, take it easy...

I am in the execution mood right now.  My mind is already thinking about tomorrow's session.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

28s

@elsDines

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm This is a Caesar Cipher: Nvzo, aol zvunz hyl zv hwwyvwyphal mvy aol tvvk ypnoa uvd. P ht zv tbjo pu svcl dpao fvb, ihif.

Gosh, the songs are so appropriate for the mood right now.  I am so much in love with you, baby.

------------------------

I think I just chill for today.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

16s

@elsDines

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm I took a stick of cigarette from the Indonesian contractor working on my house. Just to build rapport. After that, I had a throbbing headache. I am feeling a bit stupor right now.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

·

31s

@aushtronaut

@traxxfmofficial

#traxxfm

@elsDines

Interesting question, how far is heaven? I measure it not in terms of distance but in time. Let me answer it this *wa[s] (way), for a person who is waiting to meet his maker, life on earth is just a strike of a needle. *Sarah OK

Why am I wasting my 4 hours Sarah?

I think it is simpler if it is you and me, isn't it?  Why do I need people who are not relevant to me at all?  I don't really understand my own actions.

I can't stand this R&B shit.  Doesn't click with me at all.

 -------------------------