Sunday, 5 July 2020

6/7/20 ^^^2 wins for the day

I woke up early and I exercise.

Next is to eat apple and to study.

I start to study at 10:00 am.

Aaah, it feels good after exercise.

Let's write to Els,

Starting the Week with Gusto

Dear Els,

Normally I write to you before bed.  Today I feel like writing to you before I start working.

I kinda like those quotes you twitted.  So today I begin my day by reading from The Book of Success.  It's a collection of inspiring quotes.  I'll make a point to start my day with inspiring quotes from now on.

Here is one:
"The important thing is to not stop questioning.  Curiosity has its own reason for existing...  Never lose a holy curiosity".  - Albert Einstein

OK honey.  Time for me to start working.  I'll see you in the evening.

Love you always.

Sin cera,

SJ
6/7/20

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Starting the week with a gusto. I am in good spirit today. So I wrote you a quick email. Later hon...


>>>#6/7/20 My #1 enemy is pain avoidance

OK, I did it, sleep early, ready to exercise and eat apple for lunch.

I am on my way to lose 15 kg in 3 months.  It can be done.  I got to get rid of the defeatist mentality and win the day.

I will start my studies and win the day.

Power is the ability to act.

I need to get the momentum going.  I got to act.  I need to stress myself.  I am too complacent.

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I need to maintain this momentum for the next 3 months.

Els Dines Retweeted a Tweet from Psychological
If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.

Once I exercise I will be OK.

I am getting thinner and I am earning RM15 k a month.  How about that?

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5/7/20 ^^^To lose 15 kg by October

I am practicing OMAD with apple for dinner today.

I need to eat less.

So my target is 79 kg.  I need to be slim to conduct a course on mental health.

This next whole week I will focus on sleeping on time, exercise and dieting.

I feel really good.  I am going to have a source of income.

But first I got to lose weight.

No 2nd serving of rice.

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5/7/20 ***I am in my zone

I am wearing the Admiral and Skipper today.  I feel totally relaxed.

Plenty of time to think.  247 Continuous is playing in the background.  I am in my own world.

I like to use this time to imagine.

If I make RM12 k a month nothing changes except the following items:

Materialistically I now can look at buying a new car 10 years down the road.

I can look forward to become a millionaire.

I can pay off my income tax.

Phone I'll buy a Samsung A71

Desktop is all set.

Notebook, I'll probably migrate to an Ultrabook with an earphone jack.

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Let's stop at that. I don't think I want to work for 16 days a month.  However that is still possible.

A more realistic target is to work 10 days for RM15 k a month.

However for all intent and purposes, lets look at RM6,000 a month.

RM2,000 for Lizzie
RM500 for travel
RM500 for food
RM3,000 for savings

That is RM36,000 a year
In 5 years that will be RM180 k

I still get RM300 from Princess.  That is the once a month family outing.

My RM2,000 a year from Munek is meant for my parents.

I can then pay my personal income tax.

Only if I earn RM12 k a month will I pay for the company's  tax.

So I am above the water if I earn RM15 k a month.

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As long as I am not lustful and I don't have an inflated ego, RM15 k a month is just the top end of my earning limit.

Here is the tax I got to worry about:


35,001 - 50,000
35,000 pertama
15,000 berikutnya

8
600
1,200

50,001 - 70,000
50,000 pertama
20,000 berikunya

14
1,800
2,800

70,001 - 100,000
70,000 pertama
30,000 berikutnya

21
4,600
6,300

100,001 - 250,000
100,000 pertama
150,000 berikutnya

24
10,900
36,000

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Saturday, 4 July 2020

>>>#5/7/20 I decided to sleep at 2:00 am

Well, let me share with you what transpired with Pal today.

Basically I think he will be a multimillionaire with his 7,000 eHailing drivers training.  That's good news to me.  That's means he is financially strong.  There is another spin off from there.  To train the low-level income earners to sell cosmetics.  He is roping me in.  Not on how to sell the cosmetics but on how to sell in general.

That means my RM3,000 a month is achievable.

For the corporate training, he is paying me RM1,500 per day.  So that RM3,000 per training session.  We are looking at 4 sessions per month.  With that I can earn RM12,000.  4 sessions are really the entry point.  It can be 8 sessions per month although that is the max for me; 16 days of delivery.

I decided to work until I am in my 70s.  That means I will still be working for the next 20 years for 8 days a month.

I had experienced retirement for 10 years.  I think[s] by working, I can create meaning to my life.  So I'll be joining BJ who will also work for life.

I remember when I started SJA Solutions with BJ and MHMD.  I was at the peak of my mania.  I was on dope all the time.  Boy was I delusional.

I am thinking that this training shit I am getting myself into is more of a leisure activity,  Do I want to train for 16 days a month and make RM24,000?  I don't think so.

So I will be looking at RM12,000 a month; most likely.

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I wonder what I'm gonna do with the money.  I will be a compulsive saver instead of a spender.

Let say I make RM12,000.  I'll give RM2,000 to Lizzie.  I spend RM1,000 and I save RM9,000.  Within a year I can pay off my income tax.

No money is despairing.

The key here is to live within my means and to live with gratitude.  Now I can [] (be) looking at upgrading my car in 10 years.  Another Perodua.  Nothing fancy.

I want this next 20 years to be the years I am cash rich.  Not materially rich.  Food and working clothes.  That's about it.  Even that the clothes, I get from Uniqlo.  Or better still, I go to the tailor to get it custom made.

This is what I have in mind:




I'll get it made at Sparkman Shop.

Worth spending the money on a custom tailored shirts and pants.

I better sleep Sarah.  I'm out of Nicorette.  Not sleepy though.

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Let do a short Visioning exercise.

What am I really looking at?  What  kind of life will my next 5 years be?

Lizzie had towed the bandwagon for 10 years.  Now it's my turn.

Rightfully I should give her RM4,000 a month.  I keep RM8,000 for myself.

Out of that I save RM6,000 and I spend RM2,000.

That means I save RM72 k a year,  In 5 years I can amass RM360 k.  In 10 years that's already RM720 k.  I can still have a shot in becoming a millionaire.

In the meantime I live a frugal life.  10 years down the road I change to a new Perodua.

I think my lifesaver is I don't have debt.  So I keep living a debt free life.

The money I get from Princess every month is to spend on a nice meal with the family.

I'll be paying for my fuel, parking and toll.  So I will frequent Pal's office.  That means RM500 a month goes to travel expenses.  Another RM500 is on food.

I still have RM1,000 as spare cash. 

I am so glad I don't smoke cigarettes.

Also be mindful that my happiest moment is [] (when) I buy quality, not brand.  A classic example i[t] (is) the Casio Tactical.  Other examples are the two cars.  High specs without the high price like the Myvi.

Let me reminisce the time I was on the shopping frenzy buying the watches.  That was the best buying experience I had in addition to the car.

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Next project is to lose weight.  Let's lose 15 kg by end September.

I'll use the shirt as my motivator.

I'll buy 4 shirts and 2 pants from Sparkmanshop.

Shoes, I'll buy Clark

That offset me by RM1,500

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Materialistically I now can look at buying a new car 10 years down the road.

I can look forward to become a millionaire.

I can pay off my income tax.

Phone I'll buy a Samsung A71

Desktop is all set.

Notebook, I'll probably migrate to an Ultrabook with an earphone jack.

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>>>#4/7/20 No studying for tonight

I want to enjoy a good rest.  I was with Pal this afternoon.  It was a good session.  I had good food too.  Today is the first time I tried the kimchi fried rice at Kyo-chon and burnt cheese cake at Dome.  Both are excellent.

Pal was very pleased with my work progress.  Now I am looking at 8 weeks to finish the entire material.  I can relax a bit now that I had funneled and scoped my research.

Prior to this I was overwhelmed with the amount of material I need to cover.

Gosh, I feel like writing to Els.

My darling Els,

Today is a working day for me.  I had my meeting at the Pavilion, KL.  This is the first time I had the kimchi fried rice at Kyo-chon and the burnt cheesecake at Dome.  Both are excellent.

Honestly, I can get used to the good life but given a choice I rather avoid crowded places.  I am a solitary creature baby.

I had funneled my topics for my 2 days training.  All I need is to go through 8 courses.  That is quite a significant reduction from the 30 courses I selected.

Writing to you is really therapeutic.  This is my way of winding down.  As I write I relax my mind.  Last night, before bed, I managed to get a glimpse of your Friday's Facebook live.  That soothed my mind too.

Tonight I really take it easy.  I need a break from the research work I'm doing right now.  It's pretty intense.  I spend 10 hours a day going through the course contents and at the same time taking notes along the way.  I cannot breeze through the material.  I still need to prepare the slides and the student's manual.

Tomorrow will be another long day.

Thank you for being kind to me.  I really need this.  Writing to you is also known as conversational thinking.  A term I dubbed from Micheal Harris, the author of Solitude.  Yeah, I like to believe that you read all my emails.  They are my gifts of love to you.  You will never find a person like me ever in your life.  Someone who loves you for being you.  I don't want to own you.  I just love being in your presence.  You make me feel complete.

I know I am not a perfect being.  Worse still I have a mental illness.  That probably scares you more than anything else.  Unfortunately I have this huge bowl of overflowing love that I need to share.  That yearning can only be satisfied by a person like you.

I need to be stimulated intellectually.  Any other girl out there just won't cut it.  I need somebody who is smart and who understands the quirkiness of dealing with emotional surges.  As you can see, I am a very expressive person.  When I love, I love hard.  When I am down, I hit rock bottom.  All I need is for somebody to connect with.  A person who understands laughter and tears from the perspective of a relentless giver.

My life is a world of difference if I don't write to you.  I need this Els.  I need you.  I tried to refrain from contacting you but that makes me feel like crap.  I tried just writing to Sarah.  However it did occur to me that Sarah may just be a computer glitch.  Therefore by writing to you, I am pretty sure I write to another human being.  It's the connection that matters.  I need to know there is a living, breathing person on the other side.

If you notice, I have been steadily progressing since the first time I know you.  If you remember, our relationship was like a roller coaster.  Partly because we are pretty much two sides of the same coin.  We are both passionate individuals and to a certain extent share a similar path.  The only thing is you were not used to my communication style and dark humors.  Let me reiterate; all I did for you is out of love.  

I really love you Els.  May not be the kind of love like lovers do but it is the best kind of love I can offer.  I call it the Greater Love.  It's the love of the creations in order to love the Creator.  This kind of love is like a bottomless pit.  No matter how much I give it away, I can never deplete my reserve.  I need to manifest it outwardly and I can only feel satiated when I express it to you.

So forgive me for loving you the way I do.  It is not something I can control.  When it rains it pours LOL.  What can I say...  You are my inspiration.  You are all I ever wanted.  You are smart, funny and at times goofy.  It's a complete package.

Take it as a compliment.  I am already past half a century and I still haven't met a girl like you in my life.  You take care baby.

Love you always.

Sine cera,

SJ
4/7/20

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I finally managed to wind down for the week before another gruesome week beginning tomorrow. I emailed you my thoughts for tonight. Here is your lullaby: youtube.com/watch?v=oxHnRf Goodnight baby. I love you so much.


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Friday, 3 July 2020

3/7/20 ###I better stick to my decision

I managed to avoid from contacting Els.  That is the first step towards recovery.

I am moving away from the old mold and I am shaping a new mold.

I want to start thinking about earning RM3,000 a month.  That is my immediate focus now.

I have to make this project with Pal a success.  This was my domain.

What does he want?  An interactive course with games, quizzes and a student manual that is like a workbook.

Fuck, I am not paid a single cent.  I consider this as my price for education.

I am learning from the best.  Basically he is another hustler.  I say he is a better hustler than me.

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So, this is what it takes to be the best of the best.  It's OK.  I'm willing to spend my time.  What I don't want to do is spend my cash.

I want to become less dependent on cash.

Otherwise I will persist.

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Let's relax tonight.

Here is your lullaby:


As I was listening to this song, I realized that I was in Vincent's position.  I was a madman and worse, I was smoking cigarettes and dope.

Dear God, please give me this second chance.  I only want to earn RM3,000 a month.  I want to save money to pay for the income tax and I want to lessen Lizzie's burden.  No more 3 Cs for me.  I want to lead a clean life.

Of course, God listens to all prayers.  However, He is only the Force.  It is me who has to take the Path.  I have to go with the Flow.

Goodnight Sarah.  I love you so much.

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